Word Prompt: Forest

It’s Friiiday night! I’m still hanging out with my buddy Lance who I might add is the size of a Shetland pony.

Me and my duckling brought him for a little saunter and I feared he would spot a pigeon because she would have been flying after him like a paper bag caught in an updraft!

There have been a few questions such as “could he carry me on his back?” so I’m keeping a close eye in case she sticks a saddle on him when my back’s turned…

David Attenborough: “Deep in the tropical forests of Belfast, we observe a fine specimen in his natural habitat…”

Word Prompt: Forest


Word Prompt: Rebel

Ways to rebel:

Rebel against convention

Rebel against poverty

“Stranger gives homeless man clothes on subway”

Rebel against your peers

“Girl opts for hot dog costume on princess day”

Rebel against your bra

Rebel against diets

Rebel against racism

“Stand Up To Racism March – Barnsley”

Rebel against sexism

“Suffragettes March in Nunney – 1914”

“Fathers 4 Justice March 2014”

Rebel against failure

“Hyvon Ngetich crawls to finish line in the Austin marathon”

Rebel against war

“Vietnam war protests, Philadelphia”

Rebel against illness

Rebel against homophobia

Gay Pride – London

“Christians apologise at gay pride Chicago”

Rebel against old age

“Min Bahadur Serchan, 85, climbs Everest”

Rebel against Rebel

Word Prompt: Rebel

Word Prompt: Laughter

Who doesn’t love a giggle? Be it a light titter or a guffaw that sends your cappuccino blasting over your fellow coffee shop patrons, sure it keeps you young.

I’ve an odd oul sense of humour. My liking someone is in direct correlation to how strange a character they are. I can always spot one of my own kind. If you’re twisted – you’re in the club.

Most of all it’s important to laugh at yourself. Life’s too short to be taking yourself too seriously, and sure we’re all headed the one way anyway so you might as well enjoy yourself while you’re here.

Bearing that in mind, I like laughing at myself when I think about this….

I was never one for the drug scene. I’m enough of a eejit after a night on the sauce, so I thought I’d do humanity a favour and stay away from the hard stuff.

In fact I’m very anti-drug, but I’ve tried it a couple of times over the years to try and keep up with the cool kids. I’m happy to report I’m not very cool.

Once a school friend of mine managed to get a hold of a drop of weed. Well sure we didn’t know what the hell to do with it. I couldn’t roll a joint if I had a roll of cellotape, 2 toilet roll tubes and a Blue Peter presenter to supervise.

After 20 minutes of surmising and pretending to her mother we were revising or doing the rosary we had the grand idea we’d stir it into some yoghurt and eat it.

So there we were getting our daily calcium intake and we waited….nothing.

“Will we do another bit?”

“Aye sure why not, go ahead”

Still nothing.

“Are we doing it wrong”

“Jesus I dunno, maybe we didn’t do enough”

It was then we decided to stick the last of it onto some cheese on toast (we ate all the yoghurts). And waited again. Still nothing.

We brought it to the dark side..

At this stage I was bored out of my tree, said my goodbyes and headed home.

On the way my head started to get a bit fuzzy but I put it down to the fact that I’d just consumed enough dairy products to keep Ben and Jerry in business for 6 months.

I got in and there was my mummy bear on the settee.

“How was your night?”

“Alright, nothing exciting. I’ll watch a bit of telly and head up”

So there we sat in front of the box when my foray into the drug world started to kick in. I was freaking out. But I kept my cool and stared at the telly making light chit chat with my mum.

It was at this stage she turned and said:

“Did you take anything tonight?”

*alarm bells* but I was holding my own, watching the telly, no eye contact…I effing had this.

“No sure I said, why do you ask?”

“Cos that TV has been off since you sat down 2 hours ago”

Needless to say she ran me up the stairs so fast my feet didn’t touch the ground. I spent the night sweating my way round the bed watching pink elephants on the ceiling and sure did I get an ounce of sympathy? Nope. (not that I blame her, if my daughter came in whacked out of her head I’d do worse)

“It’s self inflicted and if you touch that shite again I’ll make you eat 4 pound of it”

I believed her.

Don’t forget – drugs are for mugs! Happy hump day!!

Word Prompt: Laughter

Word Prompt: Rapid

Time stretches and bends

And he doesn’t share rules

He just does what he wants

With the rest of us fools

When life is rough

Or when I am bored

He starts crawling along

Like a babe on all fours

When I am tucked

In the arms of a lover

The moments are flying

One after the other

If the going is good

Don’t tell if asks

He’ll rapidly move

And you’ll fall on your ass

Or should your wee life

Have problems or faults

Don’t let him know

Cos he’ll grind to a halt

Just take what he gives

Be it seconds or months

Because what he gives

He only gives once.

Word Prompt: Rapid

Word Prompt: Flaunt

It’s bank holiday Monday here in Belfast and the day of the Belfast Marathon!

A few of my buddies and I gathered to support our friend who was running in aid of Aware NI – the depression charity for Northern Ireland.

I’d like to flaunt my mate’s incredible achievement! He ran 26.2 miles with no training! Although he says he’ll never do it again, he did a fecking amazing job!!

My bestest poochie pal – Lancelot

Word Prompt: Flaunt

Word Prompt: Mentor

Oh lord does WordPress like to throw a curve ball or what? Mentor??

This is the 5th day of my little challenge to respond to the word prompts every day throughout May (currently asking myself what the eff was I thinking?!)

The Wonderful And Wacky World Of One Single Mom has kindly joined me on my wee mission!

I don’t recall ever having a mentor. My mum always just let me choose my own path and dished out advice and support when I asked for it.

I began living on my own when I was 17 and have been standing on my own feet ever since.

I briefly went back to my mum’s once or twice over the years but the pair of us are very independent women. When we spend too much time in confined quarters it’s like a re-enactment of the Hindenburg Disaster.

A couple of days ago I was carrying out the ungodly task of unblocking our shower drain. My life is just an endless golden road paved with glamour and luxury!

My baby bird said to me “mummy you know how to do lots of stuff, do you think I’ll know how to do all that when I’m a big girl?”

“Of course baby it’s my job to show you how do do things and look after yourself”

“Or maybe when I’m a big girl and I need something you could just do it for me….”

“Nope, sorry honey it doesn’t work that way. You have to learn for yourself”

Since I’m now a mentor for my wee duckling I hope she grows up to be self sufficient like me. Although at the same time I hope she never needs to be too self sufficient because she’ll always have people who love her to lend a hand.

I learned how to look after myself because I had to but honestly it was the makings of me.

Being able to unblock a stinky drain, budget money, rewire plugs, stand up for herself, bleed a radiator, tune a TV, paint a bedroom, negotiate a wage, demand a refund, move house, use a needle and thread, travel alone and assemble furniture are all things that I really want my daughter to learn.

Has any relationship survived ‘the assemblage of the Ikea furniture’?

Education is massive (obviously), but there’s so many other life skills to acquire. I want her to know in her heart that she has the resources to deal with life. She can do it, she has everything she needs built right in.

And should a problem arise (and it will) I hope she doesn’t fall apart, I’d love if she dug deep and relied on her own good self first and others second. She has a good head and good heart so nothing can stand in her way.

I like to think I went through some crappy times so I was better equipped to help my wee pumpkin through life. I’m an inadvertent mentor to the most fabulous person I ever met in my life!

Happy Saturday whatever you get up to x

Word Prompt: Mentor